Are you smelling the sea breeze in your sleep? Hankering for a heavenly hike? Day dreaming of Disney World delights? My friend, it's June and time for a vacation! But wait! Before you phone a friendly travel agent, consider one of these fine films for your itinerary - a perfect compliment to your week of bliss.

Sun shining a bit too brightly? Duck into the hushed dark of the screening room! Happy trails leaving unhappy feet? Kick back, relax, and let the running happen on-screen. Disney lines too long? Skip straight to your seat to see the brand new Disney movie!

You see? No matter your vacation destination, you can't go wrong with a stop by the movies. There are 15 feature films coming to a big screen near you in June. Without further ado, here they are!


In Theaters Friday, June 2

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie

At a Glance: Two prankster best friends accidentally hypnotize their overbearing principal into believing he is an idiot superhero named Captain Underpants. The film adapts a series of popular children's books called "The Adventures of Captain Underpants" that were some of those most frequently banned by schools in 2012.


Why I'm Excited: Excited is a bit strong. Accepting, perhaps? This is one of three PG-or-under films this month and seems like a perfectly harmless kids' film with some bathroom humor that'll make you groan but your tykes squeal with delight.


Wonder Woman

At a Glance: Diana, princess of Themiscyra, is fiercest among the Amazon warriors. When the horrors of the first World War arrive on her shores, Diana leaves her beloved home behind to help mankind end the war to end all wars.


Why I'm Excited: DC's last two releases - "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice" and "Suicide Squad" - were dismal, in part because they attempted to cram too much into one film without giving any one element room to develop. With "Wonder Woman," DC is returning to basics with an uncomplicated origin affair that lets a single hero shine. With early reviews pouring positivity, I'm hopeful that DC's cinematic universe will finally find its stride.



In Theaters Friday, June 9

It Comes At Night

At a Glance: A man and his family live barricaded inside a tiny house, holed up to keep safe from terrors that lurk outside at night. When strangers arrive in need of shelter, the balance they've struck inside is disrupted.


Why I'm Excited: Since their founding in 2014, A24 has been the single most exciting independent production and distribution company around. Many of the best films in recent years - "Moonlight," "The Lobster," "Room," and "Ex Machina," just to name a few - bear the A24 seal. Even if this wasn't a psychological horror thriller set in close quarters (for which I am a huge sucker) I'd be lining up for a day one ticket.


Megan Leavey

At a Glance: The story of the bond between a marine and the military combat dog with whom she fights abroad and for whom she fights at home.


Why I'm Excited: It's a dog movie so get your tissues ready!


The Mummy

At a Glance: A rogue and his partner unearth the lost tomb of Princess Ahmanet, unwittingly releasing a power-hungry monster into the world. "The Mummy" is the first film in Universal's recently unveiled Dark Universe franchise.


Why I'm Excited: This will probably be terrible but I'll see it anyway because a) I really loved "The Mummy" movies as a kid and b) I'm easily won over by arrangements of "Paint It Black." Hoping for a campy monster flick that doesn't take itself too seriously.


In Theaters Friday, June 16

47 Meters Down

At a Glance: Two women become trapped among sharks when their diving cage sinks to the ocean floor.


Why I'm Not Excited: "47 Meters Down" is being released into theaters nearly a year after it's original release - as a direct-to-DVD film - was scrapped a week before it hit shelves. Perhaps that suggests confidence in the film's theatrical chances, but the trailer does little to wash off that home-video smell.


All Eyez On Me

At a Glance: This biopic explores the life, music and activism of Tupac Shakur.


Why I'm Not Excited: It would be great to see another successful musical-drama biopic after 2015's "Straight Outta Compton," but "All Eyez On Me" has suffered a rocky production history that includes multiple rewrites and a lawsuit that divided the original creative team. It's difficult to weigh that against the talents of the director or writers as their own experience with features is limited. That said, the trailer looks fantastic but to avoid disappointment I'm deploying strategic pessimism.


Cars 3

At a Glance: When Lightning McQueen suffers a terrible accident on the track, his racing days appear to be over. But with the help of some new friends, he trains to get back into the race and prove himself against the newest line of high-speed racers.



Why I'm Excited: Critically speaking, Pixar's record of quality has but one blemish: "Cars 2." I've actually never seen a "Cars" film, but I'm rooting for Pixar to self-correct after the missteps in 2 and redeem their popular franchise in the face of Disney Animation's miserable "Planes" spin-offs.


Rough Night

At a Glance: Amidst a wild night of partying, five friends accidentally kill a male stripper.



Why I'm Excited: It may be "Weekend at Bernie's" with bachelorettes, but don't hold that against it. The cast is solid and though this is their first feature film, writer-director Lucia Aniello and co-writer Paul Downs have worked together on TV hits like "Time Travelling Bong" and "Broad City." I'm pegging this as likely solid, if a little rough around the edges.


In Theaters Wednesday, June 21

Transformers: The Last Knight

At a Glance: As war rages between humans and Transformers, a new threat arrives to destroy the world - aided by a turned Optimus Prime.


Why I'm Ambivalent: I haven't seen Transformers 2-4 (I will before seeing this one) but I didn't hate the first so I'm not sure what to say here other than to state a few facts.Though the studio has plans for sequels throughout the next decade, this is director Michael Bay's last film in the series. The films are more savaged by critics with each release, so I assume that trend will continue. I'm not sure what a critic looks for in a movie based on cars turning into robot men but I'm also not sure why the movies need to be two and a half hours long either.


In Theaters Wednesday, June 28

Baby Driver

At a Glance: Baby is getaway driver to a collection of bank robbers, drowning out the world and achieving laser sharp focus with music. When he finds love and tries to leave the crime behind, he becomes entangled in one last high octane job for a ruthless kingpin who threatens everything.


Why I'm Excited: A new Edgar Wright movie? Sold, day one, Baby! "Baby Driver" has been described as a stylish, musical car-chase heist movie, which is something I didn't realize I needed until recently. Critics have raved about the film since "Baby Driver" premiered at SXSW in March; as of this writing, the film is sitting at 100% on Rotten Tomatoes and 81% on Metacritic. And again - this is an Edgar Wright movie. What more needs be said?


In Theaters Friday, June 30

Amityville: The Awakening

At a Glance: A family moves into a new home, seeking to be closer to better medical care for their long-comatose son, unaware that the home was once the site of a grisly murder. When the boy suddenly awakens, strange and terrible things begin to terrorize the family.


Why I'm Not Excited: This is hands-down one of the worst trailers I've seen this year. After watching it, I find myself in near-disbelief that this is a real feature film being released into theaters in the year-of-our-Lord 2017. Thankfully, this is not a 2017 release, but a 2015 release delayed repeatedly over two years by production company woes and reshoots prompted by test screening responses. Bury your expectations lower than sub-basement level if you want to avoid disappointment.


Despicable Me 3

At a Glance: Gru returns to face off with the 80's obsessed villain Balthazar Bratt and contend to with twin brother he never knew he had: Dru.


Why I'm Excited: Trailers lie, but I'll be damned if I wasn't giggling when I saw this one in theaters. It just looks plain fun. Of Illumination Entertainment's previous features, the "Despicable Me" franchise ("Minions" notwithstanding) has enjoyed consistently positive reception. There's no reason to think this one won't continue the trend.


The Beguiled

At a Glance: An injured Union soldier is given shelter at an all-girls boarding school in Confederate Virginia. As the girls care for him in turn, romantic rivalries begin to violently boil. Written and directed by Sofia Coppola, this is a second film adaptation of the 1966 novel, but not a remake of the 1971 film starring Clint Eastwood.


Why I'm Excited: When "The Beguiled" premiered last month at the Cannes Film Festival it not only scored praise from critics but made Sofia Coppola the second woman to ever win the festival's award for Best Director. That's more than enough to make me hopeful that 2017 will finally see a great thriller when the film opens in a few weeks.


The House

At a Glance: A suburban couple loses their daughter's college fund and attempts to replace the money by opening an underground casino in their home.



Why I'm Excited: If you're making a comedy, you could do a lot worse than Amy Poehler and Will Ferrell as your leads, and while this is writer-director Andrew Cohen's first feature film behind the camera, he and co-writer Brendan O'Brien have turned in solid scripts in the two "Neighbors" films.



Welcome to the Guide to Love and Movies Valentine's Day Spectacular! "Dinner and a movie" is a phrase that for too long has raised the specter of hum-drum date night mediocrities. No longer! Movies, like fine wine, must be carefully paired with a meal. This year we've prepared three romantic itineraries to bring cinematic sizzle to your date, our little gift to all the lovers out there. Bon appetit!

 
 Brooklyn (2016)



An option for serious cinema lovers, an internationally-inspired dinner is paired with a moving Best Picture nominee about a homesick girl who finds love in a brand new country. This date night is unlikely to appeal to anyone with a deep-seated hatred of the Irish.

The Meal: Get into a New York state of mind by stopping into your favorite pizza shop. To put an Irish spin on your pie, consider toppings like cabbage, potato, or sausage. If you're an adventurous couple, pretend to have accents! Exclaim "Fugget about it!" or "What a load of bollocks!" anytime you think someone is listening, then giggle to yourselves. Engage in a pretend argument about the merits of black pudding or complain loudly about "the damned protestants."

After Dinner: Enjoy the movie! "Brooklyn" is rated PG-13 and runs for 1h 52m. After the film, solemnly contemplate the experience of immigrants in the United States. Invite your most racist relatives over for dessert and coffee. Sit in silent, abject misery when they launch into a series of vitriolic diatribes against refugees. Donate $10 to the charity of your choice. Go to bed, but stare at the ceiling for hours.

Bonnie and Clyde (1967)


Celebrate Valentine's Day with this unconventional choice featuring the romantic passions of legendary star-crossed criminals.

The Meal: This date starts by looking your best. Head to the mall with your sweetheart. Select stunning outfits for each other. Steal them. Head to your favorite restaurant with four or more dollar signs on Yelp. Order the most expensive things on the menu, then leave without paying. Notice a wine rack as you race out. Select a wine. Steal it. At your local entertainment retailer, ask for help finding "Bonnie and Clyde" on Blu-ray or DVD. Steal it. When driving, speed at all times.

After Dinner: Pop the cork on your wine selection, kick your feet up, and enjoy the movie! "Bonnie and Clyde" is rated R and runs 1h 52m. Sirens approach. When the cops finally break the door down, the end credits are playing, but the room is empty. Somewhere, tires squeal and tail lights fade into a dark, distant mist. A new legend begins.


Twilight (2008)
 

Celebrate a love that will never die with this affordable date night inspired by the the timeless story of a girl and the 100 year old corpse who loved her!

The Meal: Surprise your sweetie to a delicious four-course dinner spread across four mouth-watering stops in this culinary celebration of the best-selling four-part series! Kick things off with a toast over a pair of Bloody Marys hastily concocted in the parking lot of your favorite grocery store, then dash with the speed of a glitzy glampire to Burger King for an appetizing round of garlic-free onion rings. For your main course, enjoy a burger from Wendy's, made to order as under-cooked as possible. Finally, head to the only place with arches as golden as Edward's eyes and enjoy an ice cold McFlurry. Close your eyes and imagine the frosty sensation of open-mouth kissing a Cullen.

After Dinner: After returning home, retreat to the sofa and snuggle up for the movie! "Twilight" is rated PG-13 and runs for 2h 2m. When it concludes, discover you have died. Spend eternity haunting your apartment/house with your boo.

And that wraps it up. Thanks for taking the time to read this year's V-Day spectacular. If a blog could have a valentine, you'd be ours. Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

"The Space Between Us" is sweet and sentimental in a superficial sort of way, the kind of theatrical candy that critics hate but casual moviegoers eat up. Indeed, many professional reviews have slammed the film as schmaltzy. I'm not so cynical as to be immune from a little well-meaning cheese and if excessive sap was its only problem, this might be a very different review. But "The Space Between Us" is undercut at nearly every turn by scrambled, almost directionless film editing and a script badly in need of revision. Yet even as I'm writing this I find myself wanting to like it more than I did because, gosh darnit, the movie means well! What a pickle.

The story puts an interplanetary spin on otherwise standard YA romantic dramedy. Elliot Gardner is a sixteen year old whose very existence is classified, secretly raised by scientists on Mars after the sudden death of his astronaut mother. It's a lonely life (his best friend is a robotic babysitter) made tolerable by Skype sessions with an Earth girl named Tulsa. After finding a video of his father, Gardner feels more and more trapped by circumstance until the powers-that-be offer him the chance to visit the homeworld he never knew. Gardner seizes the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and immediately goes on the run, determined to find his dad - with Tulsa's help, of course - unaware that Earth's heavier gravity is slowly bringing heart to a stop.

Broadly, the story is fine if unsurprising, buoyed by a pair of perfectly likable performances from its leads, Asa Butterfield and Britt Robertson. Butterfield plays awkward but earnest well and the interactions between his Gardner and Robertson's fiercely independent Tulsa produce some genuinely chuckle-worthy moments. But each scene advancing their blooming relationship is interrupted with real clunkers. "The beautiful music you make gives you away," said no sixteen-year-old (or anyone) ever. Veteran Carla Gugino turns in a solid supporting role, bringing some dramatic weight to the story alongside an overacting Gary Oldman as they race to save Gardner from himself.

It isn't just the dialogue; generally, the script seems several rewrites short of a final draft. The action is frequently propelled by absurd coincidence. When Gardner finds himself in momentary danger after recklessly driving a rover far from the Mars station, help immediately materializes out of nowhere. In another scene, Gardner needs to bypass security systems and it turns out a magnetic implant in his chest shuts them down (apparently its only function as the device is never mentioned again). As Gardner makes his escape from NASA, the base is put on lockdown - "No one in or out!" - except, it seems, for a caravan of unsearched cargo trucks. Each break is dumber than the last. When Tulsa steals an iPad for directions and declares "We're so lucky, it's unlocked," you'll swear she winks at the camera.

These may seem like nitpicks, but they add up to a film unable to engage its audience any more than if they'd simply read the script, its own weaknesses exacerbated by editing that honestly feels unfinished. Some scenes end mid-argument, then resolved off-screen by the very next shot. Others linger too long after ending, such as concluding a dramatic revelation with two characters awkwardly running away from the camera. Others slam competing emotional tones together with no transition at all, like abruptly ending a high energy shopping trip and it's accompanying pop music soundtrack with quiet contemplative piano playing in the same scene. It's funny, but you aren't meant to be laughing. Whatever experience the filmmakers intended is lost among the missteps as the film struggles to establish emotional identity or tone.

And yet, despite all of that, I still want to like "The Space Between Us" more than I do. It is not a hatable film. Even though I groaned and snickered, I liked Gardner and Tulsa enough to want to see it through to its silly conclusion. It's not a good movie, but it did make me smile. And really, that isn't the worst way to spend a Saturday.

Score: 2.5 / 5

Whew, what a whirlwind the last two months have been! Somehow between the usual holiday crunch jumping around the state for one hundred and one family gatherings and jetting around the country for work, we bought and moved into our first home. It's great and amazing, the only drawback being a two month detour on my road to "Watch Every Movie"™. Well, we're settled in now and I'm ready to get back on track.

Like Puxsutawney Phil I've popped my head out and seen my shadow, which means six more weeks of winter and another four weeks of winter dump month movies. As always, we run down the trailers for each new release and try to guess their quality with wild, baseless speculation. Dress warmly, take a blanket and sneak some cocoa into the theater - here are the eleven nationwide February releases.


In Theaters February 3

Rings

At Glance: In "Rings," the secrets of "The Ring" are found to go deeper than just death after seven days when a woman discovers a second message hidden inside the original cursed tape.


Why I'm Not Excited: I started to write that this was the sequel to 2002's "The Ring," forgetting completely that there has already been a sequel in the form of 2005's "The Ring Two." I didn't see it, but a cursory Google search suggests it was terrible. "Rings" of course shouldn't be judged against any of its predecessors sins and has indeed changed hands to both a new director and a new writing team. Unfortunately, director F. Javier Gutiérrez's work has not been well received in the past and one of the screenwriters is responsible for the abominable "Batman & Robin." Yikes.


The Space Between Us

At a Glance: Born unexpectedly to an astronaut, Elliot Gardner has lived his whole life on Mars, far from Earth and anyone his age. After striking up a digital friendship with an Earthbound girl, he gets the chance to travel to the planet for the first time. But the trip may come at too high a cost: as the young Martian's organs begin to fail in the terrestrial environment he embarks on a race to experience a world he never knew.


Why I'm Ambivalent: By now reviews for this are starting to trickle in and boy howdy are they not positive. But I firmly believe that critics be damned, you should see always experience film for yourself. Even the worst movies have fans. But aggregator sites like Rotten Tomatoes are helpful in terms of expectation management. They just shouldn't determine your opinion. Low expectations can be pleasantly met a lot easier than sky high ones. Anyway, I like space and Asa is pretty okay. And really, what else am I going to see this weekend?


In Theaters February 10

Fifty Shades Darker

At a Glance: This follow-up to 2015's "Fifty Shades of Grey" threatens to leave suburban moms everywhere flush, hot and bothered. In the aftermath of the first film's events, an independent Anastasia Steele is passionately pursued by Christian Grey and comes face to face with demons from his past.


Why I'm Not Excited: I have a penis.


John Wick: Chapter 2

At a Glance: Sequel week continues with a follow-up to 2014's action-packed surprise hit about a former hitman seeking revenge on those who stole his car and killed his dog. "Chapter 2" sees Wick travel to Rome with a bounty on his head and shadowy enemies seeking power.


Why I'm Excited: I haven't seen the first, but word of mouth from folks I respect is that it's great and the same team is responsible for "Chapter 2." Action flicks tend to be very samey and formulaic; anything that breaks the mold is worth checking out. Besides, Neo and Morpheus together again? Sign me up!


The LEGO Batman Movie

At a Glance: This spin-off set in the LEGO universe pits LEGO Batman against his nemesis The Joker. The Clown Prince of Crime's nefarious machinations may prove too much for the tiny plastic Caped Crusader alone, forcing him to turn to the unlikely heroes around him for help.


Why I'm Excited: I'm ready for a DC movie that isn't bound by the rules of the DC Cinematic Universe that resulted in a boring, incoherent "Batman v Superman" and a brainless, forgettable "Suicide Squad." This looks like the complete opposite of those movies. Get lost, drab grays and browns, this movie has color. So long, overplayed grim seriousness, this movie jokes about Robin's tights. Get fired into the sun, Jared Leto's Joker, this movie forgets you exist! This is a celebratory send up of one of the notoriously serious superhero franchises. After those bombs, that's just what I want.


In Theaters February 17

 A Cure for Wellness

At a Glance: A young executive goes to retrieve his CEO from a remote spa in the Alps, but begins to suspect something sinister behind their miracle treatments.


Why I'm Excited: Everything about this trailer is very much my jam. Hidden mystery tucked behind the apparently perfect? Check. Weird medical setting? Check. Creepy cult-like imagery? Check. But remember: trailers lie, and it's February. Still, the premise has me intrigued and the creative minds behind the film produced some good work (despite an overall uneven record). An aside presented without interpretation: Today 20th Century Fox retweeted a ton of positive publicity from people selected to attend an early screening.


Fist Fight

At a Glance: A teacher accidentally gets another, more feared teacher fired on the last day of school, resulting in his challenge to an after-school teacher throw down he is sure to lose.


Why I'm Not Excited: How do you stretch this premise into a satisfying ninety minutes? I'm sure I don't know. Trailers lie, but there's enough repetition in the three minutes above that I'm not sure these guys do either.


The Great Wall

At a Glance: Mercenaries seeking gunpowder in Song dynasty China are set upon by a monster and, fleeing, are taken prisoner by the Chinese armies at the Great Wall. When the Wall is itself besieged by an army of the creatures, they join in its defense.


Why I'm Excited: Okay, hear me out. I'm almost certain this movie will be ridiculous. That said, there's an interesting element to "The Great Wall" in that it is an inverse of the common Hollywood trend of shoehorning Chinese elements into films to appeal to the Chinese market. This film has already been released in China, was produced in-part by a Chinese production company, was directed by a renounced Chinese director, and has a majority Chinese cast. Matt Damon, arguably, was shoehorned in to appeal to Western audiences, concern over white-washing not withstanding. It's an interesting layer in a complex issue the industry is rightfully grappling with.


In Theaters February 24

Collide

At a Glance: A man returns to a life of drug smuggling to raise the money for the kidney transplant his girlfriend desperately needs, only to end up on the run from his dangerous employers.



Why I'm Not Excited: I like Hoult, Jones, Kingsley and Hopkins, but I'm not sure anyone is exactly screaming for an English "Taken."


Get Out

At a Glance: Writer-director Jordan Peele takes a break from comedy to turn in this surprise race-based horror film about a man visiting his white girlfriend's family for the first time. At first relieved to see another person of color, bizarre behavior leads him to suspect something is very wrong at the picture-perfect estate. His only goal: to get out.



Why I'm Excited: I love seeing talent try new things. Satire has been the heart of Peele's work since the comedy sketch show that helped propel him to fame and while this may be his first horror film, it's clear that the premise comes from a nugget of personal truth. I've always enjoyed his work and can't wait to see what he's come up with.


Rock Dog

At a Glance: A guard-dog training to be the protector of his village discovers a passion for music after a radio falls from the sky and sets off to pursue his musical dreams, inadvertently becoming the key for the hungry wolves threatening his peaceful home.


Why I'm Ambivalent: This seems harmless, and is this month's only option for younger kids who may not be ready for "LEGO Batman." It's probably no "Norm of the North," but (despite the trailer's hinting) it's unlikely to be "Toy Story 2" either.


And that's the month! Remember, all commentary is wild, baseless speculation and in no way indicates a movie's actual quality. See what you want! So, what are you excited you see this month? Sound off in the comments below to share what you're seeing and why!

"Incarnate" is the latest from horror factory Blumhouse Productions, the studio behind the "Saw" and "Purge" franchises. I shared my screening with only one other person, an older gentleman who fell asleep about a third of the way through then left before it ended. I wonder which of us enjoyed the movie less. This is a ninety minute eye roll with fewer scares than I have fingers to a hand and hokey "thrills" more deserving of a Direct-to-DVD bargain bin than the big screen. It is so limp and lifeless a film that I can't muster up the give-a-damn to hate it. It has all the impact of wind broken on an elevator: deeply unpleasant but forgotten the moment the doors open and you go about your day.

The premise is familiar. A powerful demon possesses 11-year old Cameron and the Vatican consults Dr. Seth Ember to give it the boot. But in a twist on the typical formula, Ember is not a priest but a man of science. His work is eviction, not exorcism! Demons aren't hellspawn, they're just like any ol' malignant parasitic energy! Rather than compelling the demon with crucifixes and holy water and all that religious mumbo-jumbo, Ember evicts from within by using his aura to "dive" into the victim's mind - you know, with science! - where he punches the demon in the face while he convinces the possessed to reject the demon by jumping through a window.

An updated formula is still a formula though, and despite the pseudoscientific additions there are no surprises as "Incarnate" explains the convoluted logic and arbitrary rules of its poorly conceived "Inception" knockoff over pages and pages of clumsy exposition that both bore and hint at every plot twist and dramatic turn in painfully obvious ways. I may not be able to articulate why Ember's "dives" can only last eight minutes, but I sure as hell knew how the movie would end within twenty.

On the subject of the script, it's amazing to see talented actors struggle with such miserable material. The writing is incredibly bad. Conversations consist of a series of escalating clichés delivered with all the dramatic nuance of an afternoon soap. "That's why I'm the only chance you've got." "I'm the one she wants!" and so forth, endlessly. I actually made a game of guessing a characters' next line. It was a depressingly easy game to win.

I'm willing to give the cast a pass on their performances because the characters aren't written as flesh-and-blood humans. The actors are never given an opportunity to explore their characters beyond a single defining trait or part. Take Ember. He clearly had a falling out with the Catholic Church at some point and more importantly has personal beef with the demon possessing Cameron. But he is written as a generic gruff badass who never shows vulnerability, so Eckhart grunts and grumbles his way into through a bland performance. Mazouz, whose work on "Gotham" is quite good, plays the stereotypical possessed child. He does exactly the things you'd expect and nothing you wouldn't. Boring. "Game of Thrones" veteran Carice van Houten plays Cameron's mother and is reduced to staring at a screen saying very worried-sounding things. Ugh.

At one point "Incarnate" winks at itself, joking that it avoids the spinning heads and vomit that are so typical of the genre. But in directly referencing "The Exorcist," the film drives home how lessor a copy it is, stripped of compelling themes like loss of self, faith and doubt. It portrays possession through digitally-deepened voices and red contact lenses, positively G-rated compared to Regan MacNeil's shocking transformation. Exorcism itself - sorry, eviction - is reduced to a couple of lame action sequences; there is nothing as compelling as the deeply personal struggles of Fathers Merrin and Karras. It's not even scary! I counted a total of three jump scares that were so telegraphed I actually become annoyed waiting for them to hit.

Well, it got my six bucks anyway. After the credits rolled, I processed the movie over pizza and decided to compare my notes with a few reviews by professional critics. The first one I pulled up suggested that a sequel could be really good. As I read, a chill ran down my spine.

Finally, "Incarnate" managed a scare.

Score: 1.5/5
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